Worthiness Rising

Kyle and I at the Grand Canyon

Hello everyone. I apologize for not updating this site in quite some time. I am actively posting on Facebook, so please be sure to join me there. This project is still up and running, though the Universe has given me other priorities at the moment, like my music career and the blessed task of raising my son. I spent 2 years with my brother Christian Andrew collecting submissions for MyThreeThings.org and spreading the word about the benefits of self-forgiveness. The legacy continues, and I’d like to thank each and every one of you who has visited our site, and to those of you who have chosen to release shame, blame and guilt by filling out a release form which will be included in our upcoming book. If you’re new to our site, feel free to browse and when you’re ready, click “Release” and name three things you’re willing to forgive yourself for. To read submissions from people like you around the world click “Heal”. Now, on to the reason for this post… :)

I am a single mother. My son just turned 14 and isn’t doing well in school. In elementary school, he got mostly A’s. In middle school, there has been a sharp and steady decline in his performance and participation. He is brilliant, very artistic and a free-thinking individual. But I am watching him sink. I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that he simply doesn’t shine in a public school setting.  I am beyond concerned, because for the second year in a row, he is faced with the possibility of failing the school year. REWIND: I grew up in a very tumultuous, and at times abusive, environment. We were poor most of the time. Food stamps, welfare, school lunches and hand-me-downs were all a reality of my younger years. I made very good grades and excelled at everything I put my heart into. My mother never asked if I did my homework or how I was doing in school. She didn’t need to. I knew it was my responsibility and I just DID IT. Admittedly, I had the “Eye of the Tiger” to propel me. This is what I call the powerful drive people have to achieve a better life due to a rough childhood. Ambition is too gentle a word, capiche? FF: I consulted my son’s father and asked what we should/could do. His father is an educator, mind you. “Our son is getting F’s. He might FAIL the school year!” I cried, exasperated with no results after working with my son to improve his grades. His father said “Let him fail. Maybe that’s what he needs to turn this around.” NO. NOOOOO. This is wrong. This reaction might be appropriate for an adult, but NOT A CHILD. I took my son’s face in my hands and said “I will NOT let you fail.” Tears welled up in his eyes, and he fell into my arms. I stepped WAAAAAY out of my comfort zone and decided to look into private schools. As fate would have it, I found a private school that focuses on an artistic and hands-on approach to education. I brought my son to the school for a tour, and after seeing his reaction to their facility, the staff and their approach to learning, made the decision that THIS is where he’ll be attending school next year. It is very expensive, and I never thought I would be in this position. Private school? It’s for the rich, right? It’s a foreign world to me. But I had the faith to try something different and the vision to know without a doubt I would come up with the resources to make it work. Once I made the decision to make this investment in my son I became very emotional, crying for 2 days. I thought I was sad, depressed even, and asked myself WHY I was crying. I wasn’t scared of the $$ (though at my income level it would be appropriate to be), and it wasn’t because I was doing it alone as a single mom…and then it hit me. I WAS CRYING BECAUSE I WAS HAPPY. I was in a state of “Oh sh*t, I can DO THIS!!!” I had NO POINT OF REFERENCE for this abundance, both for the opportunity for my son and the blessing of finding this school. I couldn’t fully process it, much less define it. I didn’t feel WORTHY of this opportunity on some level. I was in danger of regressing to the mean of my life story: “People like me don’t send their kids to private school.” And what’s worse is I was in danger of passing that unworthiness down to my SON! Talk about a wake-up call! So…here is the LESSON and RELEASE: I forgive myself for thinking small and playing small because that was my blueprint. I forgive myself for not embracing possibilities in my future because they didn’t exist in my past. I forgive myself for not allowing myself to feel the JOY that I can do this for my son, because shame clouded the AWARENESS of the power that lies in my ability to dream, do and BE something extraordinary in this life. This may not seem like a major shift to some of you, but for me, it is epic. May this inspire you to reach new levels of awareness and the realization of your own abundant potential in this life.

Release, Heal and Share with Us.

Blessings and Love,

Kimberly Trapp

6 Responses to “Worthiness Rising”

  • Kimberly- I love what you shared! I’ve been there myself, with a child who needs and deserves a non-typical educational environment AND moving through the ‘poverty mindset’ of thinking I wasn’t worthy of having such lofty dreams, that only ‘others’ seemed entitled to!

    Part of breaking off the poverty mindset was going deeper into my sense of gratitude. I now can be grateful for every good & bad experience and everything I have or am blessed with, whether it is ‘all’ I wanted or expected it to be or not! Everyday I am grateful and everyday there is MORE then I ever imagined!

    Thank you for sharing a part of your story!

  • Sami:

    I loved your story. As a mom who is dealing with a kid who has some social issues, I completely understand your concerns about school. I loved your writing, your site, your vision, your candor and vulnerability. It takes a village and thankfully, you have created a fantastic one. We love you!

  • Kim Violino:

    Well Done My Friend!! Your Awareness Is Awesome! I Have A Great Book For You, Key to Personal Freedom: How Myths Affect Our Family Lives, By Susie Walton. If you Can’t Find It On Amazon, Call me. This Book Is Everything You Are Talking About. I Love And Miss You, Kimmy

  • Laura Rhodes:

    Beautiful Kimberly…You are an AMAZING mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Phyllis:

    You never know what your made of, until you know what you are made of. There is nothing you can’t do. Phyllis

  • This dirty politics crap dtugssis me! I like a lot of other certainly want to see a new board at that school. Lord knows it is needed.The letter that was in yesterdays mail does have a few errors first of all don’t tell ME who not to vote for. You can give me facts if you feel that is helpful, I can decide myself who to vote for. Second- principals do not have contracts- The devil herself oh I mean Carolyn Wilkovitch stressed Gaida out of the district- the sorry board just allowed her to harass the hell out of that poor man.Third- Don’t misrepresent your self by placing a return address that is not yours on the envelope.The biggest flaw of all in that letter is the lack of more info regarding how these people are impeding our childrens education and safety- lord knows that school is lacking. That info would have been much more effective.Those people who placed that flier in those church bulletins- God will get you, and Wilkovitch as well- he already has his eye on your demise anyway. You ought to change your evil ways.You people go to church, say your prayers, put your money in the collection plate and you will burn in hell anyway because you conduct yourselves like the devils advocate in every other aspect of your lives.I won’t be supporting this sort of behavior. None of you will have my vote. You have ALL stooped to a new low! Shame on all of you!Well-loved.

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